Accept or Drown

Yesterday was a tough day for me. I was pretty low and one tends to blog what you feel.

The amount of support I have is unbelievable sometimes.  My good friend Joe always remembers his good friend Mali and has always prayed and been supporting of my family.

There are so many friends out there that do that for us, there are too many to name. They know who they are and the love I have for them. They carry me when I can’t walk on my own. Simon’s they are.

Grief is a wicked, tricksy type of creature. Just when you think you are about to go under someone either jumps in after you to hold you up or tosses you a life jacket.

Acceptance of Mali’s suicide no matter how bitter it is to swallow may be my only salvation.  I don’t like it.  It is a truth and fighting with it is like paddling against the tide.  It gets you nowhere and its exhausting.

If you are reading this and you feel like suicide is the only way, stop by my house so I can give you a good slap and we can talk it out. Or call the number at top.  You matter and the world IS a better place with you in it.  I only wish my Ducky would have reached out too.

I refuse to drown today.

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