Merry Christmas

Side note  I am a faithful practicing Catholic and my title was way out of order  I was referring to the materialism and secularism that has driven a wedge between love of Our Lord and the true meaning of Christmas  if I have offended anyone please excuse me.

Not sure if I have ever mentioned this mask thing I have going on sucks. That face you put on, fake smile, fake perky attitude is nothing but a huge fucking facade.

Christmas has been a test in how long I can hold that stupid fucking face. Knowing in my heart is the worst part. I know I’m being fake.  I can’t stand myself.

I tried very hard to show my children this year that life goes on and you can still be in awe of the holy season.  A person can function and go through the motions.  You can still be a family.

Unfortunately that missing person is the pink elephant in the room.   The emptiness and heaviness of our hearts is the loudest thing in the room.

So I raise a glass to you my sweet Mali. My duck. You will always be young and beautiful. I miss you so much I can’t even begin to put the words together. What I do know is that thin thread that tied you to me and me to you is still there. Someday it will lead me home to you.